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Friday, 23 December 2011

Stuart's Odd Definitions (SODs): Politician

BBC Broadcasting House, Portland Place at the ...
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I thought I'd add a little dark humour and devise some definitions of my own. Since I generally rely on the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (SOED) to inspire my 'real' definitions for the Daily Word Spot, I thought I'd use the acronym SOD for my own odd definitions. Here's the first of what will become an irregular series.

Politician: noun - unreliable representative of the people; a corrupt official; opinionated orator; self-obsessed child; blinkered follower of party dogma; greasy pole climber; a person with their snout in the trough; demagogue; someone with ideas fixed by reference to a dubious past; a person suffering retarded development and needing undue attention from a large pool of otherwise insignificant strangers; an immature seeker of attention.

As is evident from my definition, I have huge admiration for politicians as a class of individuals. After all, they have, over the years, managed to persuade large numbers of people that they act in the interests of their constituents, whilst ensuring that their own goals are given priority. They've achieved that most unusual feat of fooling most of the people most of the time: in this case, mostly a reflection of the weariness and indifference of the voting population. In a democracy, politicians are supposed to represent the views of those whose region they serve. In reality, of course, they invariably either bow to pressure from their party machine and thereby distort or delete their personal election promises, or they put forward their own views regardless of any conflict these may have with those of the people they're supposed to represent.
So, a pretty worthy bunch of reprobates, thoroughly deserving of our continued support. They'll undoubtedly maintain their positions of power and influence and use them to gain greater rewards for themselves and those they favour, whilst the rest of us lie back and let them trample over us, thereby receiving the respect and treatment we deserve.
So, I say, well done politicians. May you all receive the rewards you so richly deserve.
What say you?

1672 - Giovanni Cassini discovered Rhea, one of the many satellites of Saturn.

1922 - BBC Radio began daily newscasts in the UK, starting a tradition that has grown over the years to inform, educate and, sometimes, irritate the hell out of the listeners.

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